From Off Balance, To Centered

 © Ann Marie-2013

© Ann Marie-2013

While visiting with a dear friend this past weekend, I made a statement about what the past year’s heartache and hardships had done for me.  I told her that the experience had centered me.  Her reaction was one of surprise, saying that wasn’t something she would have thought could come out of a situation of loss and turmoil.  An unexpected outcome.

Let me explain.

I won’t give you a bunch of gory and personal details of what I suffered in 2012, but I will share that my world was turned upside down quite by surprise and suddenly.  Like being in a horrific car accident, I was hit hard out of no where, left shaken, bruised and in the first few months afterward, dazed and confused.  I lost love, my home, my business, all of my feelings of security, and trust.  And to top it all off, I had to say good-by to my beloved dog of eleven years.  Yep, things pretty much sucked for me.  How much more could I take I wondered.

I don’t tell you this for words or feelings of sympathy for me.  My suffering is no greater or less than anyone’s, and all that I went through is part of life’s cycle in one form or another.  No feeling sorry for me.  I’ve come out stronger and more at peace then at any other time in my life.

Hence finding myself centered.

What has been revealed to me through this experience is that it took being thrown completely off balance for me to land smack dab in my center- my core.  I had to be knocked down, to stand up straight again and claim my space in the world.  I had to suffer being broken wide open to begin the healing.  I had to lose my perceived perception of being in perfect balance on life’s see-saw, to find my heart and soul centered.

We all suffer pain and loss and we all bounce back at our own pace.  Some may think I’ve come through this quickly and have it all figured out.  Moving forward like nothing ever happened.  But this is not the case, I can assure you.  I’m definitely still mending the broken parts and finding my way.  Some days trying to make sense of the senseless.  No regrets though.  Life unfolds as it is meant to both in joy and in sorrow.  

A huge part of being where I am today- just one short year from where my life took a drastic turn- was sitting back in the chair of my situation and getting comfortable.  In my ability to surrender to the circumstances, but never giving up my self-respect and never giving up control of my thoughts and attitudes focused on the positive.  Hey, I get it. Sometimes you have to roll with the shit days and hide under the covers if that’s what it takes.  But you better give yourself a kick in the pants the next day, cause the good life isn’t going to wait for you.  It takes full acknowledgment that it is hard work, and giving yourself credit for each day you spin crap into gold, to march on.  

The next time you find your life- your very being- thrown off balance, take moments to calm your mind and do your very best to come back to your center.  The very center of your heart, your beliefs, thoughts and actions, what brings you joy and makes you happy. 

Balance can be overrated.  Resting in the center of who you are, and finding peace there, so freeing.

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